1

 

“I’m not going on a date with your neighbor’s son,” Kate Connelly told her mom over the phone. She had it jammed between her shoulder and ear, freeing up her hands to yank open the kitchen cupboard and pull out the cereal boxes for breakfast.

​

Granola with added protein for James, because at fifteen years old he had a thing about not having big enough muscles. Frosted Lucky Charms for eight-year-old Ethan – Kate hated the things but she’d long since given up the fight for him to have at least one meal a day without added sugar – and boring old cornflakes for Addy who at six was the fussiest of them all and hated anything that wasn’t plain.

​

“Why not?” her mom asked, sounding put out. “He’s single.”

​

Kate would have laughed, but she knew her mom was deadly serious. And this was one of the many reasons why she was thankful that she’d moved far, far away from her hometown. “Because he has six kids,” she pointed out, grabbing the milk from the refrigerator. Dammit, she’d forgotten to switch on the coffee maker. They were going to be late.

​

“So? That just shows you he’s the settling down type,” her mom countered.

​

“That would make nine kids between us.” Addy lumbered into the kitchen wearing her Sunday dress. At least one of her kids was up on time. 

​

“And? People have big families all the time.”

​

Yeah, but Kate could barely cope with her three. Between school and the after-school activities, the housekeeping, and holding down a job, she was never quite sure what day it was, let alone which kid it was time to pick up.

​

Thank goodness the end of the school year was in sight. She couldn’t wait for the warm days and the long evenings.

​

“Mom, it’s not happening. Anyway, he lives two hundred miles away.” She could still remember Ray from when she was a kid. Ten years older than her and a momma’s boy. Not that there was anything wrong with that. She had two of her own momma’s boys, after all.

​

But a man wasn’t what she needed right now. Unless he was willing to do school drop-offs and pick up cereal from the grocery store when the boxes were empty and do something about the backyard, then she wasn’t interested.

​

“But if you two fell in love you could all move back here,” her mom said, sounding whiny. Kate checked her watch. They’d been talking for exactly two minutes. That was usually all she could handle. She loved her momma to pieces, but damn, if she didn’t get her own way she let you know it. “It’s been two years, Kate,” her mom added softly.

​

And there it was. The reminder that twenty-four months had passed, because yeah, she hadn’t gotten out of measuring the time in months yet. Funny how people expected that to mean something. And funny how little time two years felt when you’d spent most of it in some kind of weird half-life.

​

“Mom, I have to go. The kids need breakfast,” Kate said quickly, needing this conversation to be done. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

​

“But what about Ray?”

​

Kate ended the call without acknowledging her mom’s question right as James walked into the kitchen, wearing a pair of old sweatpants and a t-shirt. He already looked so much like his father it caused her chest to tighten. “We’re leaving in twenty minutes,” she told him. “Where are your Sunday clothes?”

​

“I’m not going to church,” he mumbled, grabbing the granola and pouring it into a huge bowl. She winced, knowing the price of the stuff, but didn’t say anything.

​

“Of course you’re going to church. It’s the one day of the week that we’re all together. Now go get changed.”

​

He poured milk into his bowl. “I’m going to the station. They have some space for new junior firefighters.”

​

And just like that her heart felt like it was doing a loop-the-loop. She was so not ready for this. Even less ready than she was to think about dating again.

​

She should have known he’d want to go. James had always hero worshipped his dad, after all. And since Paul had been a firefighter, James wanted to as well. 

​

But she couldn’t stand the thought of it. Which was probably why he was trying to blindside her. Because if he’d asked, she would almost certainly have said no.

​

“Not this week,” she told him. “We need to talk about it first.” When she was ready. Which would probably be never, if she was being truly honest.

​

“When?” he asked.

​

“Soon,” she promised.

​

His lips were tight as he looked up at her. He could be as stubborn as his dad was, too. If Paul was here, he’d bark at James and that would be the end of it.

​

If Paul was here, they’d both be at the station for fire training.

​

“Mom, I can’t find my pants,” Ethan said, running into the kitchen in his shirt and boxers and nothing else. 

​

“Can you put it away? I’m trying to eat here,” James muttered, pretending to gag.

​

“And I’m trying to get dressed,” Ethan huffed. “Mom, where are my clothes?”

​

“Check the pile in the laundry room.” She really had meant to sort and fold all those dry clothes last night. 

​

She really needed some coffee. And that’s when she realized that she still hadn’t turned the damn machine on. Rubbing the heel of her hand against her eyes, she groaned when she pulled it away and saw the smudged mascara on her palm.

​

“Fifteen minutes,” she shouted, loud enough for them all to hear, finally switching the machine on. She’d have to take her mug to go. She pulled out the stainless steel vacuum one she bought when the kids were little.

​

When she was mom of the year. Before she became a widowed mom of three.

​

“This milk tastes weird,” James said. He’d already eaten half of his bowl of granola. Kate sighed and picked up the milk jug.

The best by date was two days earlier.

​

“Does it taste weird to you?” she asked Addy, trying not to sound worried. Addy shrugged. James took her bowl from her and she started to protest.

​

“I’m getting you a fresh one,” James muttered. “Before we all end up with food poisoning.

​

And there he was. Her buddy. Her bestie. He came out occasionally, when he managed to fight his way through the teenage hormones and the anger. 

​

The boy she’d met when he was barely two years old and as cute as a button. The one she’d legally adopted when he was three after she’d married his dad and they’d become a family. He was as much hers as Addy and Ethan, and she loved him so fiercely it hurt.

​

He loved her, too. She knew that. They’d kept each other going over the last two years since Paul’s death.

​

“Thank you.” She shot a smile at James as he pulled out a fresh carton of milk and bowls, then made him and his baby sister breakfast again.

​

He even splashed some into her stainless steel mug before putting it back in the refrigerator.

​

“No problem,” he muttered. “Now, can I go to the fire station?”

​

“No.” She shook her head. “Not this week. But I’ll think about it. Soon.” 

 

* * * 

 

“Why don’t we have any photos from Daddy’s funeral?” Addy asked Kate as they walked up the steps to the First Baptist Church. Kate was holding Addy’s hand, the other gripping her coffee. Could you even take a coffee cup into the church?

​

Surely they wouldn’t turn her away because she needed a caffeine hit.

​

Just to be sure, she lingered outside to finish, watching as James and Ethan caught up with them. 

​

“People don’t take photographs of funerals,” Kate told her. Kids came up with the strangest questions sometimes. After losing Paul she’d thought she’d heard them all, but this was a new one.

​

And she had no idea where it had come from.

​

Grief was a strange thing. It ebbed and flowed like the ocean. Sometimes the tide would be so low you barely thought about the loss at all, and then it would come rushing back, a tsunami of remembering.

​

She knew that Addy couldn’t remember Paul as much as she used to. She’d been four when he’d died. Ethan had been six and James – her poor James – had been thirteen.

​

More than once he’d held her as she broke down, much to her horror.

​

“Why don’t they take photos?” Addy asked. “I wore a special dress, didn’t I?”

​

“Yes…” Kate frowned.

​

“My friend Annabel was a flower girl. She has pictures she brought to school. She’s such a show off. She said she was a princess for a day.”

​

“That’s because you take photos at weddings, dummy,” Ethan said. “They’re happy things. Funerals are sad things.”

​

“So we can’t take pictures of sad things?” Addy asked. “We have pictures of dad in the house. Isn’t that sad?”

​

Kate let out a long breath. “Those pictures are happy. That’s how we remember Daddy. That’s how he wanted us to remember him.” She drained her coffee cup. “Now can we go in?”

​

“I want to take a photo in for show and tell,” Addy said.

​

“Of what?” Kate asked.

​

“Of Daddy’s funeral.”

​

She ruffled her daughter’s hair. “I don’t think your teacher would like that much.”

​

“Why don’t you take in something of Dad’s?” James suggested. “His helmet or a photo of him in his uniform?”

​

“Hey, remember when Dad came into my school to talk about fire safety?” Ethan asked. “I must have been in Pre-K then.”

Addy’s lip wobbled and Kate knew exactly what was coming. “Did he come in to my Pre-K class?”

​

Kate swallowed hard. “No, honey, he didn’t. He wasn’t with us then, remember?”

​

“That’s not fair.” Addy pouted. “Did he go to James’ Pre-K class?”

​

“What’s going on here?” a female voice cut through the beginnings of Addy’s tantrum. “Are you all gonna hang around out here or are you coming in?”

​

The sound of Shana Wilson’s voice was enough to make Kate relax. She turned around, smiling at her. She and Shana had been friends for years.

​

“Hey Aunt Shana,” Ethan said. James nodded at her.

 

“So, are we going in or what?” Shana asked. “Because the quicker this finishes, the quicker we can get to the diner. And I’m determined to get a booth this week. I’m not going to be beaten.” She slid her hand through Kate’s arm. “Go ahead and choose the best pew. Save us a couple of seats.”

​

Kate watched as her kids hurried in through the church doors. 

​

“You okay?” Shana murmured.

​

“I’m fine.” Kate nodded. Because mostly, she really was. Yes, there were bad days, but there had been some good ones too. And as time wound on, the good was starting to outweigh the bad. 

​

“You sure?”

​

Kate smiled. “Apart from my mom wanting me to be the stepmother to six additional kids, even though I almost poisoned my own three with bad milk this morning. Oh, and I’m also the worst mom ever because I won’t let James go to Junior Firefighters, and Addy wants to take a photo of her at Paul’s funeral for show and tell.”

​

Shana blinked. “What?”

​

Kate squeezed her friend’s hand. “It doesn’t matter. I’m fine, I really am.”

​

“Not as fine as that sight,” Shana said, looking over Kate’s shoulder to the town square beyond. 

​

It was only natural to turn around and see what her friend was staring at. But when she did a mixture of pain and longing washed over her. Because the good men and women of the Hartson’s Creek Fire Department were on their pre-training run.

​

She usually got into church before they ran past. Not just because it hurt to watch them run without Paul. She was getting used to that.

​

But because she’d pushed every single one of them away after Paul died. They’d tried to help her, but she’d refused their offers. It had hurt to see them, and she’d found it almost impossible to deal with their grief as well as her own, and most importantly, her kids’.

​

Her throat felt thick just thinking about it. There was a divide there now that she couldn’t quite bridge. They didn’t know how to deal with it, so they just got on with their lives.

​

Or most of them did. 

​

She went to look away, but then she saw him.

​

Marley Hartson’s eyes caught hers and she felt every cell in her body tighten up. He’d been Paul’s second in command. His closest friend. The man who was with him when he died.

​

And the one man she’d pushed so far away she could never see a way back from that.

​

And it hadn’t been because he had anything to do with Paul’s death. Her husband’s passing had been a freak of nature. That’s what everybody said. Unexpected, and completely sudden.

​

It was because Marley had been with him. Holding his hand. Seeing the life pass out of her husband’s body. It was too painful to think about.

​

And yes, there was a certain jealousy there, too. That he’d been there and she hadn’t. When it happened, Kate had been happily filing books away at the library, thinking about what to cook for dinner and where she and Paul would go for their date night.

​

She took a deep breath and watched as Marley’s jaw tightened, his gaze still on her. The intensity of his stare made her chest feel so tight it was hard to breathe. And she hated that, hated feeling anything. So much better to be numb.

​

Like the rest of the crew and juniors, he was wearing a blue t-shirt with FDHC embroidered on the left-hand side. There was a tattoo on his left arm, peeking out from his sleeve. That was new. And yeah, she noticed the way his biceps looked bigger than before because she might feel dead inside sometimes but she was still, apparently, a woman.

​

He had the easiest gait of any runner she’d ever seen. It had to come from his constant activity. Outside of volunteering for the department, he was a construction worker. He worked with his twin brother on real estate developments all over the county. And on the weekends they played in a local band. Like her, he was always busy. And yet she knew for a fact that every evening he ran past their house just to check on them.

​

Because yes, she’d made it clear she didn’t want his help. But he checked on them anyway. He didn’t know she knew. But she could time her watch by the man.

​

It felt like a relief as the group of firefighters ran past the church, toward the far end of the town square, to the road that led to the firehouse. She inhaled raggedly as the organ started to play inside the church. 

​

“We should go in,” Shana said.

​

Kate nodded, pulling her gaze away from the disappearing squad of firefighters. “Yeah, we should.”

​

“And the kids better have chosen seats at the end of a pew,” Shana added, completely unaware of Kate’s reaction, thank goodness. “Because we’ll need to make a quick getaway if we want to get that booth.”

 

* * *

 

“Six kids? Wow. And I thought three were hard enough to handle,” Shana said as they sat in the diner. “Doesn’t your mom love you?”

Kate grinned. Now that church was over she could relax. Sure, she had a list of chores as long as her arms to do when she got home, but right now she knew all of her kids were safe, and she had a cup of bottomless coffee in front of her.

​

They hadn’t gotten here fast enough for a booth, much to Shana’s disgust. Instead, they were at a table by the window overlooking the town square. 

​

James had said he wasn’t hungry and headed out to throw a ball with some friends, and Ethan was pouring what looked like half of a bottle of maple syrup onto his pancakes. Addy was coloring furiously, her crayon blunting on the paper.

​

None of them were listening to Kate and Shana talking, which wasn’t a surprise. Her kids had long since learned that grown up conversations were mostly boring.

​

“My mom’s problem is that she doesn’t think any woman can survive on her own,” Kate admitted. Her mom was the poster child for moving on after bereavement. She’d remarried barely ten months after Kate’s dad had died. 

​

“Maybe she’s right though,” Shana mused, taking a bite of bacon.

​

“What do you mean?” Kate frowned because Shana never agreed with her mom. After Paul died and her mom flew in to ‘help’ – which meant proclaiming that Kate’s life had ended and she’d never be the same again – Shana had practically frog marched her to the airport as soon as the funeral was over.

​

“It’s been two years. How long are you going to wait until you start dating again?”

​

“Forever.” 

​

“Mom, can we go play outside?” Ethan asked, looking through the window. There were a bunch of kids from school in the grassy town square. 

​

“Have you finished your food?”

​

“Yep.” Ethan shoved the last of his pancake in his mouth and swallowed it down in double time.

​

“Okay then. But stay within my sight. Between the bandstand and the oak tree.”

​

“Of course.” Ethan nodded.

​

“Can I go too?” Addy asked.

​

“No, you need to stay with me.”

​

“That’s not fair.” Addy pouted, and it made Kate’s lip twitch. 

​

“Honey, Ethan is two years older than you.”

​

Ethan sighed, looking like he was eighty, not eight. “I’ll look after her. And James is over there.”

​

Shana caught Kate’s eye. She knew how protective Kate felt, especially toward her youngest.

​

“Why don’t you message James?” Shana murmured. “See if he’ll keep an eye on her, too?”

​

Her chest felt tight, because she hated this. Hated her kids growing up. And yes, Addy was still young, but James wasn’t.

Paul was supposed to be here to help her navigate through this, dammit.

​

Within a minute James had walked back into the diner to grab his brother and sister, nodding patiently as Kate instructed him to keep an eye on them at all times, and to come get her if there were any problems at all.

​

“I’m a big girl, Mommy,” Addy said, shaking her head. “You gotta learn to let me go.”

​

That set Shana laughing, which was probably what they needed at that point. Kate’s own lips started to curl, right until the diner door open and Marley walked in, his long strides taking him straight to the counter.

​

Twice in one day. Kate took a deep breath and lifted her coffee cup, praying for him to leave quickly.

​

But then he turned and saw her staring. Oh God. She tried to relax her expression but he held her gaze a moment too long.

​

There was no smile on his face. She let out a low breath and nodded at him, thankful that Shana was too busy watching Addy and Ethan cross the road to the square with James to notice that the town’s hottest firefighter had just walked in.

​

No, no. Not hot at all. Just a friend of Paul’s. Or ex friend, whatever you wanted to call it.

​

Her chest felt weird, like she’d just run a hundred yard dash.

​

“What can I get you?” the server asked him at the counter. She heard his low voice as he put in an order for a coffee and pastry to go. Watched as he leaned on the counter, his thumb running along the length of his jawline. Felt herself flush like a teenager.

​

God damn it, what was wrong with her? She blamed her mom and all this talk of needing a man.

​

She didn’t need anybody. She was fine as she was.

​

“So come on,” she said to Shana. “Tell me about your date last night.” Because now that the kids were out of earshot, her friend could give her all the gory details.

​

Shana’s dating life was always diverting. And she sure could use some of that.

​

    

2

 

Sliding his feet into his running shoes, Marley Hartson quickly laced them up and checked his watch. Almost nine in the evening. He’d spent most of the day at the fire station. Firstly, helping to run the training and Junior Firefighter drills. And then he’d headed over to his parents’ place to meet up with his family.

​

His brothers had been there. Including his twin, Pres, who he worked with. Along with Pres’ wife and kids, ten-year-old Delilah and his twin sons, who at two-and-a-half years old were out of control in the cutest way.

​

And though it was fun, he still couldn’t get Kate Connelly out of his mind.

​

The way she’d looked at him as he ran past. The way her stare had felt like a punch in the gut.

​

The way he always felt like he’d let her down. Let her kids down.

​

Broken the promise he’d made to Paul as his friend laid dead on a gurney.

​

He let out a long breath. He’d go on his run and then he’d try to get some sleep. Because working in construction always meant an early start. And juggling his day job with volunteering as a firefighter meant he was always on the go. 

​

He was lucky because his brother owned the construction company and Pres had always been supportive of Marley’s volunteer career. 

The cool evening air wrapped around him like a blanket as he stepped out of the front door of his small house. He’d bought it years ago, close to the fire station because that’s what volunteers did. They lived close so they could get there fast when there was a call out, because time could mean life or death.

​

And it was weird, because as soon as he started to move, he felt better. He always did. Standing still meant way too many thoughts rushing through his mind. According to his mom, he’d always been overactive, even as a kid. But as an adult – and especially in the last year – his need to always be doing something had become more of a compulsion.

​

He ran past the fire house. It was quiet, empty, which was always a good sign. He’d been part of the twenty-person strong volunteer force since he’d come back to his home town after college, at the age of twenty-two. Before that, he’d volunteered as a firefighter in his college town, and as a teenager he’d been a junior firefighter here in Hartson’s Creek.

​

That’s when he’d met Paul Connelly. His best friend.

​

The man he’d seen collapse in front of him and die within minutes.

​

There were no cars on the road as he made his way to the town square. All the shops were empty with the lights turned off save for the Moonlight Bar. He could smell the sour notes of beer as he ran past it, heading to the road out of town. 

​

As he reached the edge of town the houses thinned out, until there were only a few here and there. The fields that surrounded the town stretched out toward the burning orange horizon.

​

He planned to run to the house then back again. Just check that all was well and then he’d be able to sleep. 

​

Kate and her children had moved there a year ago, out of the house that was near the station where her husband had died. It had been easier when she’d lived there. To keep an eye on her. To check on her.

​

It was harder here, because he knew he stuck out like a sore thumb when he ran past. Maybe that’s why he waited until night had fallen every evening before he ventured out.

​

There was a light shining in her upstairs window. One of the kids, probably. And on the porch there was a light, illuminating the plant pots full of dead flowers that had turned a brilliant shade of brown due to lack of watering.

​

He would have watered them but he knew Kate wouldn’t accept help. She’d turned down everything that the fire department had tried to offer her. 

​

He was about to turn back again when he saw it. At first he thought it was a crack in the pathway leading from the driveway to the house. But then it moved and he almost jumped.

​

A damn copperhead. It was early in the year for them. The thing must’ve just woken up from hibernation, but it had been a warm day and it must’ve enjoyed bathing in the brightness of the sun, but now it was trying to find somewhere warm to sleep overnight.

Marley sighed as he watched it begin to slither toward the house. Because now he was going to have to do something about it. It wouldn’t be his first encounter with a snake. They had plenty of calls from frightened tourists and locals alike over the summer months, especially out in the fields where the snakes preferred to make their homes.

​

Hell, he’d been called out a few times for ones that had found their way through the holes in brick walls and into houses. And he wasn’t certain that this snake wouldn’t do the same thing.

​

The house was warm. The outside air was not.

​

Looking around on the ground, he found a stick. The copperhead wasn’t too big – only ten inches long. He could easily lift it and move it far away from Kate’s house. Holding the stick out, he walked carefully toward the snake, sliding the end of the stick beneath its body and lifting.

​

Thankfully, the snake lifted up with it.

​

There was a field about ten yards away, so Marley carried it carefully over, letting the snake down and watching as it slithered away. Sure, there was a possibility it could be back, but most snakes he’d encountered were more than happy to be left alone and far away from human scrutiny.

​

“What’s going on?” Kate called out from her front door. He hadn’t even heard her open it.

​

“I was running past. Saw something on your driveway.” It wasn’t a lie. And he knew she’d hate it if she knew he was keeping an eye on them all.

​

He turned around to look at her. She was wearing a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt, her dark hair swept up to reveal her slender neck. There was some dirt on her cheek, like she’d been cleaning. But it couldn’t disguise the attractiveness of this woman.

​

It hit him like a Mack truck. He felt his pulse – already fast – starting to throb in his neck.

​

Fuck, no. She was Paul’s wife. He wasn’t going to be attracted to her. He pushed the thought away, hoping it would never come back.

“What did you see on my driveway?” she asked. Her voice was low, like she didn’t want to wake up her kids.

​

Marley hesitated, because he knew that some people freaked out over snakes. Imagined that one little visit meant an infestation. “It’s dealt with.”

​

She put her hands on her hips, her head tipping to the side. “What’s dealt with?” she asked him. “I saw you pick something up.”

​

Of course she wouldn’t let it go. He let out a sigh. 

 

“A snake,” he said, his voice low.

​

She blinked, her lips pressing together. “What kind of snake?” She sounded less certain now. Less in control. 

​

“Just a rat snake,” he lied. “I took it over to the field.”

​

Kate let out a long breath. “Was it poisonous?”

​

“Rat snakes are fine.” There, that wasn’t a lie, just a little stretch of the truth. “But if it’s okay with you I’d like to inspect the outside of your house when it’s light.”

​

“Why?” she asked, looking confused.

​

“Just to…” He shrugged. “Make sure everything’s okay.”

​

“You think the snake might come back?” Her voice lifted and he winced, because he was making things worse.

​

“No.” But it was a good excuse to make sure her house was secure. 

​

“Then it’s fine. I’ll take a walk around the property tomorrow to be sure.” She lifted her gaze to his, her jaw jutting out. “And you don’t need to run past here every day. We’re fine.”

​

So she knew about that. Damn. 

​

“It’s my favorite running route,” he told her.

​

A ghost of a smile pulled at her lips. “Sure it is. Just like your old favorite running route was past our house in town.”

​

“It’s a small town,” he pointed out. “It’s not exactly full of places to run.” And he couldn’t give this one up. He’d made a promise. He intended to keep it.

​

“You don’t need to check on me. I can take care of myself. And the kids,” she told him, her voice firm. Because yeah, she knew exactly what he was doing.

​

Of course she did. She was an intelligent woman. Pretty. He could remember the way she used to smile so easily. Before.

​

“I know you can. I know you do.” He lifted his hand to his brow, brushing away some of the sweat he’d gotten from running. “I’m not trying to make your life harder.” He looked at her carefully. She still seemed a little freaked out by the snake. “Kate,” he said softly.

​

“Yes?”

​

“If you need anything at all, you just let me know, all right?” 

​

The light of the moon caught her eyes. He could see how shiny they were. “I don’t need anything,” she told him. “I’m fine. I’m just trying to live my life the best way I know how.”

​

He nodded, hating that he’d upset her. “Well good night then,” he murmured.

​

“Good night.”

​

And then she was gone.

​

 

3

 

“Mom, have you thought about me joining junior firefighters yet?” James asked the next day after school. Kate had finished work early and was walking around the outside of the house, her phone in her hand. She’d googled ‘how to secure your house from snakes’ but apart from looking for holes in the brickwork and for pipes that didn’t have mesh in them, she wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing.

All she knew was she didn’t want anything creeping in that shouldn’t be there. The thought of it made her shudder.

​

She stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. “I have,” she said, stealing herself for the worst. “I just don’t think you’re ready for it yet. Maybe next year, if your grades are a little better.”

​

“Next year I’ll be a junior. And you’ll say I have to concentrate on my schoolwork and that I won’t have time.”

​

Kate winced, because that was exactly what she was planning to say to him. Because the truth was, she didn’t want him to be part of the scheme at all.

​

Because then he’d want to volunteer as an adult. And she’d be as afraid for him the same way she’d been afraid for Paul every time he got an alert.

​

Because being a firefighter wasn’t an easy job. Before moving to Hartson’s Creek to manage the volunteer team, Paul had been a captain in a big city force. The stories he’d told her made her feel panicky and anxious. And it wasn’t just that – even being a small town firefighter was dangerous. People got injured. People died.

​

She couldn’t bear for that person to be James.

​

She’d be waiting for the day somebody rushed in to fetch her from the library. And her heart couldn’t take it. Not with her son.

“I thought you were going to try out for football,” she said, trying to change the subject.

​

“I’m no good at football. I’ve never gotten picked for the team.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, his jaw jutting out. “I just want to do something that will make Dad proud.”

​

Her heart tightened. She stood up and turned to face him. This boy that was turning into a man in front of her eyes. Surely he couldn’t be this old. It felt like only a few months ago when he used to climb into her lap and hold her tight, his little chubby arms wrapped around her neck as he told her he wanted her to marry his daddy.

​

That he wanted her to be his mom.

​

And she was. In every way except biology, this boy was hers.

​

“Your dad would be proud of you,” she told him, her voice tight. “He is proud of you. He’s looking down on you and I know he sees what I see. You’re a kind, strong boy, James Connelly. You take care of your brother and sister and you take care of me. And you get good grades at school. In a couple of years you’ll go off to college and you’ll make us all even prouder.”

​

“What if I don’t want to go to college?” he asked her. “What if I want to become a firefighter like dad?”

​

“Dad wanted you to go to college,” she reminded him. “He saved up all that money. He wanted you to have choices, the kind of choices he didn’t have.”

​

“I have enough choices,” James told her.

​

“Oh sweetheart.” She smiled softly at him. “It’s a big world out there. And you’ll get to see it all. You’ll meet new people, learn so many things. Visit the places that your dad only dreamed of.” He never wanted James to be stuck in one place. Not like he had been.

​

“What if I want to stay here with you? You need help with Ethan and Addy.” He lifted a brow. “God only knows how much worse they’ll get when they’re teenagers.”

​

She wanted to laugh because suddenly her boy sounded so grown up. “I’ll cope,” she told him dryly. “The same way I did when you hit the dreaded thirteen.”

​

“Yeah, well I was a good kid.” 

​

Reaching out, she cupped his face with her palm. “You still are.”

​

He grimaced, stepping out of her touch. “If I’m that good, why won’t you let me join the firefighters?”

​

And they were back to this again. He wasn’t letting go. But neither was she.

​

“Next year,” she promised. “I’ll think about it then.”

​

James pressed his lips together and nodded, then turned around and walked into the house and Kate let out a long breath.

She’d won the battle. But she’d long since learned that didn’t mean anything with teenagers.

​

She turned back to the house and recommenced her inspection, because dealing with snakes was so much easier than dealing with her son.

​

And she had a feeling that this discussion wasn’t over.

 

* * *

 

The Hartson’s Creek Memorial Library was a low modern brick building a few roads away from the town square. Kate had been working here for the last ten years, only taking time off when she had Ethan and Addy.

​

It was in the same strip as the police department and town park, and behind it were lush green fields that families came to picnic at in the summer months.

​

But today wasn’t about families. It was about bracing herself because it was Thursday, and Thursday were Stitch and Snitch days.

Okay, officially the Thursday morning club that met at the library was called the Hartson’s Creek Sewing and Knitting Club, but for as long as she could remember they called themselves Stitch and Snitch.

​

And the chief snitcher – Mary Cooper – was walking through the double doors, carrying her knitting bag that Kate knew for a fact contained the same sweater she’d been knitting since last November. It was a vermillion color that made Kate blink every time she saw it peeping out of the bag.

​

Not much stitching went on as far as she could tell.

​

“Kate, tell me, did you remember to put the chairs out this week?” Mary asked. 

​

Kate took a deep breath and tried not to let her smile falter. “Yes, of course.” She’d forgotten once. Two months ago. And had yet to hear the end of it.

​

“Oh, and has anybody come about those birds on the roof? They made such a noise last week I couldn’t hear myself think.”

​

Couldn’t hear the gossip more like. Kate shrugged. “I put a call in to county, but there’s a backlog on their bird removal service.”

​

“Damn.” Mary frowned. “I guess we should try a little poisoned seed.”

​

Over Kate’s dead body. “I’m sure they’ll come eventually. In the meantime, I’ve made sure all the windows are shut.”

​

“Good plan.” Mary nodded, about to turn away. Then she tipped her head and looked Kate dead in the eye.

“You look different.”

​

“I do?” 

​

“Hmmm.” Mary’s overgrown brows pulled tightly together. “Have you changed your lipstick?”

​

“No.” Mostly because she wasn’t wearing any.

​

“Done your hair then? Is it a different color? You look…” Mary pressed her lips together. “Attractive.”

​

Oh God, she wasn’t going to laugh. How could somebody make a compliment sound more like an accusation?

​

“Thank you.”

​

“It wasn’t a compliment, dear.”

​

Of course it wasn’t. 

​

“Maybe it’s time you started thinking about dating again,” Mary said to her.

​

“I’m sorry?” Kate’s brows pinched together.

​

“We were talking about it while we were knitting last week. There are a lot of eligible men in Hartson’s Creek. And a woman shouldn’t be on her own for too long.”

​

Kate frowned. “Have you been talking to my mom?”

​

“No, why? Should I?” Mary pressed her lips together.

​

Absolutely not. Having her mom trying to set her up was bad enough. Having Mary taking an interest in her lack-of-dating life was something that wasn’t going to happen.

​

“I’m still deep in grief,” Kate said, leaning forward, putting on her best sad looking face.

​

“A good man will get you out of that, dear,” Mary said, patting her hand. “I read an article in a magazine the other day. Sex is good for sadness.” 

​

Okay this was going too far. Dating was one thing. Talking about sex with the head honcho of the Stitch and Snitchers? No thanks.

​

The door opened and Shana walked in, carrying two Styrofoam cups of coffee, followed by a huddle of ladies carrying sewing cases, already talking loudly as they walked in. Luckily, their arrival diverted Mary’s attention, and Kate used the opportunity to walk back to the counter where Shana was standing.

​

“Quick,” she said, her voice low. “Ask me something about the Dewey Decimal system.” 

​

“Stitch and Snitch getting you down?”

 

“Something like that.”

​

“Good thing I bought you a coffee then,” Shana said, grinning. “I got them to put an extra shot in it. Figured you’d need the caffeine.”

​

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” Kate said, taking the coffee gratefully.

​

“Stop quoting Van Morrison at me. You know it always makes me weak in the knees.” Shana watched as the Stitchers filed into the recreation room. “So what gives?”

​

“Mary asked me when I was going to date again.” Kate rolled her eyes. “Why is it that everybody wants to know that?”

​

“It’s the two year thing,” Shana said. “They feel like they’ve given you some grace. Now it’s time to meddle again.”

​

“I wish they wouldn’t.” Kate shook her head. “I swear snakes are easier to deal with than them. Did you know that sex is good for sadness?”

​

Shana laughed out loud. “Who told you that?”

​

“Mary.”

​

Shana laughed louder. “Oh God, tell me she didn’t.”

​

But Kate just lifted a brow. 

​

“Well, the woman is wrong about a lot of things, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day,” Shana said. “Sex is pretty good for everything. Maybe you should try it.”

​

“No thanks. I’ll stick to reading books in bed.”

​

“At least choose some raunchy ones.” Shana winked. “Have you checked out the latest Meghan Quinn book?”

​

“No,” Kate lied, because of course she had. She may not ever be ready to date again, but it didn’t mean she was dead inside.

​

“That’s good. Because it’ll make you want to have sex with every gorgeous, rugged man in town. Ask me how I know.”

​

But she didn’t need to ask. And there was only one gorgeous, rugged man she thought about when she read romance books.

And he was the one man she shouldn’t be thinking about.